But He Comes Home At Night

Preface: We found this today sitting in the drafts. Maybe it’ll help someone, maybe it won’t. Consider it an unpublished throwback.

Today I heard a woman say that she told her husband’s mistress that “It isn’t where he spends his time, it’s where he lays his head.” I’m still confused. I lay my head where I have to…but I do most of my fun shit away from home. Is coming home really enough? When did we get to the point where we’re having arguments about whether or not our husbands value us more than the women we’re sharing him with?  As a mother, It’s becoming a little disheartening to know that women are succumbing to this type of behavior. When did we learn to settle just to have someone who we can say “comes home at night”? I never thought I’d say this, but in 2014 the wife is not winning. A majority of women believe that as long as you obtain the title of being wife, you’ve won. Obviously my idea of winning isn’t the same as yours.

With shows like Power and everyday proclamations from women on social networks, I’m beginning to think that the wife is definitely the loser. The only person who doesn’t seem to know this is the wife…and die-hard aspiring wives. From what I can tell, your competition is having the fun. Let’s see…  Continue reading But He Comes Home At Night

I Don’t, And Neither Should You


When, as a society, did we get to the point where we decided that we should dictate the lives of others according to how we see fit? I clearly remember a time when you didn’t like something you just didn’t like it. You didn’t celebrate it, support it or give it energy. Now when someone doesn’t like something, they’re not only extremely vocal about not liking it, but they go out of their way to make sure that others are unable to celebrate it either.

With the recent step that a certain city took to abolish Columbus Day, I realized that popular public opinion has become way more powerful than it has ever been. Don’t be mistaken, I am not a fan nor celebrator of this particular holiday. However, I can’t help but to think that there is some strange old lady and her strange family that dresses up every Columbus Day and reenacts the “founding” of our great country. Then they pile up in their pickup truck and partake of the many sales at the local mall. It makes me wonder what made the dissatisfaction and disbelief of one group of people more important than the satisfaction and belief of another group of people? More importantly, what will you do when one day there’s a group of citizens who decide that celebrating New Year’s Day/Easter/Christmas/Rosh Hashanah/[Insert your holiday here] is a pagan practice that should no longer be nationally acknowledged? Will you go with the flow? Will you support the decision?

It’s easy to blink and turn your head when it’s an issue that most of us agree upon, such as Columbus Day. But what will happen when one day the issue is one that you do not agree with? When you are no longer the majority and it’s your beliefs that are being challenged. Will it seem unfair then? That slope is mighty slippery.

You know how they say that an injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere? Yeah…

Arcade Tokens

This week I had a male friend tell me that he was interested in dating me. After I regained my composure from the compulsive laughter, I came to realize that he was serious. Why would this man, who I have watched do unbelievable things to his girlfriends, think that I would be stupid enough to date him? Then it hit me; because women usually tend to think that they are “different.” Fortunately, I am not one of those women. I am fully aware that there are a million me’s in the world. In fact, the only thing that probably makes me “different” is the fact that I am aware of this. Now, I could be downplaying my greatness and doing myself a disservice, but it has worked for me thus far. I’m sure I have saved myself from a whole lot of strife and bad dealings by thinking this way. I’m not sure how women can sit around and watch a man do other women wrong then think that when it’s their turn, things will somehow be different. That has to be the definition of crazy.  Continue reading Arcade Tokens

You’re Pointing That Mirror In The Wrong Direction

Donald Sterling said WHAT?!?!! ::Insert fake hypotritical outrage!::

Donald Sterling is racist. There is no denying or justifying that. The thing that seems to set me apart from my peers on this issue is that I don’t feel it needs to be justified. I believe that Sterling, just like every other American, has the right to his own beliefs and practices. The thing I’ve noticed in 2014 is that people spend a whole lot of time telling others what they should do with their lives. They want to tell people how to live, how to speak and what words they can and can not use. You may be offended by this, but the strangest sense of entitlement came with civil and gay rights. African Americans and the gay community tend to be especially sensitive when it comes to issues concerning us. Yet, a black or gay person can say pretty much whatever comes to mind and expect to not be reprimanded (i.e. Paul Mooney and Perez Hilton). If we’re so against racism, where are we when Paul Mooney goes on his racist rants? Where are we when government officials very openly support practices that discriminate against Mexicans? Where are we when things are happening that DON’T affect us? I had a coworker tell me that she can be upset about things that concern only black people because her grandchildren and great grandchildren will be black. Oh? Will they? And how will you feel when your great-great grandchild is half black half Mexican? Then your great great great grand child 3/4 Mexican and 1/4 black? Will you wish you stood up for the equality of others then? Continue reading You’re Pointing That Mirror In The Wrong Direction

Bothers Me When The Gods Get ‘Ta Acting Like The Broads…

ANTM Judges PanelI know that preference is preference. So take this post with a grain of salt if you choose to do so.

Lately, I’ve noticed that more and more men are becoming boisterously vocal with their opinions on a woman’s clothing, makeup and hair choices. I’m all about preference, but when did men become so concerned about things that don’t necessarily pertain to them? Why are you always referencing a “maxi” dress? Why do you really care if a woman’s hair is “natural”? (Especially since you wouldn’t giver her the time of day if she started rocking that Steve Harvey bush that may or may not be festering under that weave.) Why are you concerning yourself with her makeup practices? Are you unaware of how suspect you sound when professing that you “can date a woman who wears tinted moisturizer and eyeliner” vs. one who wears a face full of foundation? You’re actually out here turning down beautiful, accomplished women…because you don’t like their hair? Come on sir. Continue reading Bothers Me When The Gods Get ‘Ta Acting Like The Broads…

New Rules

The most gratifying thing about growing up is becoming responsible for those that come after you. Those smiling faces often remind me of a time when I was young and innocent and someone older was responsible for me. Everyone who knows me is aware that I’m not much of an affectionate person. I’m not the mother/aunt/cousin who will baby you and kiss your boo boos. That job is reserved for someone else who isn’t me. I am the person who is going to bestow upon you lessons and wisdom (puffs chest) that will make you a better person. When my youth are 24 they’re not going to be thinking, “I’m glad she was there to put that Neosporin on this scrape…you can hardly see the scar anymore.” They’re going to be grateful for me teaching them value, self-worth and proper treatment of others. It’s so sad that in 2014 you can turn anywhere and see the constant mistakes that our elders made in raising us. There are things that we subconsciously pass down to our kids that just need to end. It’s time to break the cycle. Continue reading New Rules

Things I’ve Learned in the Last 60 Days

  • Unfortunately, not everyone is good enough for you. Don’t feel bad for having standards.
  • It is perfectly okay to be unapologetically happy. Don’t feel guilty about it.
  • Muslims are crazy aggressive in regards to their hatred for your religion, but can’t take it when you turn the tables on them. WWAD?
  • Being yourself isn’t common.
  • A “woman” will end a 20 year friendship with her best friend over something that she’ll forgive her man of 10 months for doing several times over.
  • Women are desperate.
  • Men know that women are desperate.
  • The world is changing.
  • No matter what you do, there will be someone blindly criticizing it. So just do it anyway.
  • People will make up any delusional flaw about you to feel good about themselves. Let them have it. They obviously need it more than you.
  • You can’t grow if you don’t step outside of your comfort bubble.
  • We’re confusing loyalty with stupidity.
  • Regardless of whether or not you physically “Woke up ligh dis”, you’re still just as beautiful as you propose. I’m sure Beyonce didn’t “Wake up ligh dat”, but you don’t see them downing her. Live on girl. Live on. You wake up as the same person everyday…Beauty is 90% internal.
  • Men like to be chased…and I’m not much of a runner.
  • Being internally ugly makes you less physically attractive.
  • Image People will try to throw this type of stupidity at you everyday. Just take a moment to take in the dumbness then realize that arguing with someone who was stupid enough to post that shit is pointless. Don’t waste your time.
  • Men down women who “idolize” Marilyn Monroe but they put women like Rihanna on a pedestal. #Irony
  • What you purposely take in can ultimately affect your thought process. Be careful of what you read/watch.
  • Men really think that your every waking moment is spent trying to figure out how to impress them. Desperate women have made these beliefs possible. Just hold out on conforming to the new standard with the hope that things will get better.
  • What’s done in the dark doesn’t always come to light and sometimes it isn’t your job to make sure it does. It’s okay for some things to stay in the dark, especially things that aren’t your problem.
  • Black women hate black women.
  • Black men hate black women.
  • Black women love black men.
  • People only care about issues that they think have the ability to affect them.
  • People are entitled to not agree with you…it’s fine.

Continue reading Things I’ve Learned in the Last 60 Days

We're not drunk…We're crazy